Celebrating the graduate!
Happy Graduation, students and parents! It’s graduation season, and even if the ceremony isn't exactly as in years past, it’s an occasion to celebrate. Graduation is a meaningful milestone. Congratulations to all the graduates! You did it!
As a parent, I have been to 13 graduations so far, counting pre-school! Thankfully there were no speeches at the latter ceremonies. I don’t envy those giving graduation speeches. It’s hard for them not to fall into the inevitable clichés of “your graduation is called a commencement because it’s not the end rather a beginning” and “this is the first day of the rest of your life” - as though the students had not already been living for 18 years. The intended audience is the graduates, of course. After all, they did the actual work to get to that stage. The homework. But the parents and caregivers were at home doing work of their own. They are always acknowledged at graduations for the support and love they gave their children to get them to that stage. But graduation is also a milestone for parents and caregivers, too.
Years ago, when our children were in elementary school, my friend Mary insisted that a group of friends all have lunch together - specifically to mark the end of that academic year. She said milestones as parents need to be commemorated, too. And she was right.
I often look back and wonder what my mother must have felt as she watched each of her seven children graduate from high school and then college. I'm embarrassed to look back and realize I never thought much about that at the time, lost as I was in teenager concerns and self absorption. It was a milestone for her with each one off and “launched.” Literally, one less mouth to feed. The grocery list was shorter, the marketing, laundry and dishes took a little less time with each graduation. There was a little more free time with each departure. I see that myself now as a mom.
The free time is bittersweet as the graduations are the end of an era, often an end to the time children live under the same roof as parents. It’s a transition for parents, too, as a child begins “the first days of the rest of their life.” They are off to college or to a job or to living with friends in another city. Parents and children are transitioning in parallel, and it’s good to take time to acknowledge the mix of emotions we feel at graduation. We will miss our children and that phase of taking care of them in ways large and small while we are also overwhelmed with pride at their accomplishments and the adults they have become. Here's to our graduation as parents and to our successful transition to the next phase of our lives! Congratulations! We did it!!